I’ve been waiting for 2014 to end. The year exhausted itself before December 31. Back in October, I wrote an article about the unusual flavors of Kit Kat sold in Japan. I spoke with a friend about that blog post, and he suggested me to write another column about some of the planet’s most bizarre (by the standard of the average Western citizen, anyway) ice cream flavors. By request, here it is.
I’ll start with the most innocent-sounding variety. It’s unconventional, but will still sound appealing to a lot of people. Yes, this is actually a thing. There are numerous recipes for bacon ice cream, including maple bacon ice cream and even maple bacon bourbon.
2. Squid ink
Squid ink ice cream can be purchased in Japan. I’m having a hard time deciding whether I want to eat this ice cream or sign my name with it.
Yes, charcoal. The stuff you get from burning organic matter. Digest that. Once again, this can be found in Japan.
Pronounced as “a-goo-duk.” It’s also known as “Eskimo ice cream.” Modern recipes often use Crisco; however, the traditional dish as enjoyed by Eskimos consisted of berries mixed with deer, moose, or whale fat.
Sparky’s Homemade Ice Cream in Columbia, Missouri sells ice cream with actual cicadas in it. Cicadas are known for being noisy insects; they make produce song during the spring and summer, similar to crickets and katydids. They are also said to taste like peanuts and are a good source of protein.
6. Bone marrow with bourbon smoked cherry
This is the most oddly specific flavor on this list. This is one of the top selling flavors at Salt and Straw in Portland, Oregon.
7. Earl Grey Sriracha
If you’re in the mood for an ice cream that combines the flavors of something that men stereotypically like (hot sauce) and something that women stereotypically like (tea) just head on over to Little Baby’s in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
8. Raw Horse Flesh
I really don’t have anything to say about this one.
9. Breast milk
Yes, this is a variety sold in a store in London, and it’s made from actual human breast milk. I’m sure it doesn’t taste that bad, but I wouldn’t be able to eat it without hating myself a little. Come on; I’m an adult. I learned how to speak words that aren’t cries, sleep in a bed that isn’t adorned with prison bars, and hold a cup a long time ago. I’m too old to kick back and enjoy the savor of nature’s infant formula. Nonetheless, I guess it’s never too early to introduce a mini human to the concept of brain freeze.
Some people will see this and inquire, “What the hell does Viagra ice cream taste like?” Supposedly, it tastes like champagne. I found no info on where this is sold, but the madman (or genius, depending on your perspective) who invented this ice cream claims that it contains the same chemicals in the famous blue pill that induces an erection. Alright, but can women and children eat it? It’s champagne-flavored, but isn’t it a bad thing to mix alcohol and prescription drugs? Can you overdose on this ice cream? Are there any side effects? Should you talk to your doctor before ordering a scoop? So many questions.